Welcome to 1Liners - Articles by Robert D. Dangoor

Jan 12 2010 ∞

A JOURNEY OF LANDMARKS THROUGH THE CITY TO WORK

As I board the number nine bus, on Kensington Road, going to Green Park, on the left I see Kensington Palace, where Princess Diana used to live.

A hundred yards from the bus stop is the Kensington Gardens toilets. In fact they are run by the City of Westminster, since they are on the borderline.

A few years ago, there was a sign that read, ‘These toilet are out of use. Sorry for the inconvenience’.

Further along the right side is the Royal Albert Hall where the Promenade concerts are performed ever summer.

About two kilometres onwards is the site of what will be One Hyde Park. A deluxe penthouse apartment which will set you back £100million. Arguably the most expensive flat in London.

Next door is the Mandarin Oriental Hotel where Baroness Thatcher celebrated her 80th birthday with 650 guests, including the Queen and Tony Blair, who was prime minister at the time.

Further along to Hyde Park Corner on the right is Lansborough Hotel, which used to be a hospital not so long ago. They used to try to improve your health but now they reduce your wealth.

Past Hyde Park Corner towards Piccadilly on the left is the Hard Rock Café, which in my opinion serves the best hamburger in town.

On the right side is Green Park. Next to the tube station deck chairs are available for hire. It’s hard to believe that you are in the centre of a city, such is the scenery.

When I get off the bus, Marks & Spencer is in front of you. A few years ago there was a newspaper seller’s sign that read ‘Marks & Spencer sales slump’.

These are the landmarks on my journey to work.

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SOME THOUGHTS AT A CONCERT IN KENSINGTON

St Stephen’s Church, Gloucester Road, in the centre of Kensington, is a stone’s throw from where I live. I used to take my mother to St James’s Church in Piccadilly nearly every week. As we were getting ready to go out, she would ask me, “Are we going to the concert?”

I went to a funeral at St Stephen’s Church of someone I met in the local coffee shop. We weren’t close, but we always got on well together and passed the time talking about artistic things together. That must have been five or six years ago… time can be so indefinite when you’re looking back.

A middle-aged woman who walks her dog in Gloucester Road visits St Stephen’s for the concert recitals… I wonder if dogs appreciate music?

I hope all is well at the office. Family businesses always carry more responsibility. Our secretary has to leave early today… I hope the concert finishes before she leaves.

The music was composed by a Czech, Antonin Dvorak, and the group playing is the Bisengaliev Quintet.

I tried to play the piano when I was a boy, but I didn’t keep it up. I did play the recorder for a while. But the dedication of these musicians, who met at the Royal College of Music, is amazing. Most of them have been playing their instruments since they were kids. They make it all look so easy.

I am a writer and writing is much more private than playing music, although the writer and musician both want to reach out to the public. I must try harder to get my article published, even if it is only on the internet.

One magazine editor was very sympathetic to my writing, but said I needed to give different points of view, to speak with other’s voices.

I hope it doesn’t start raining… it will be nice to walk to work through the park.

I wonder why it is that some people can write prolifically throughout their lives, whereas I struggle to write one piece?

The dark suit that the violinist is wearing looks similar to mine… I wonder if the dry cleaners will have my suit ready for Saturday? They said they would.

At the beginning of the concert I warm up slowly, becoming acclimatised to the music. The best part, though, is always the climax. Classical music weaves a spell, soothing the spirit, melting away your troubles… I feel quite uplifted now, and energised.

I will come again next week

+ ∞

GLOUCESTER ROAD

Gloucester Road used to be a village. It was formerly known as Hogmore Lane. In 1826, in honour of Maria, Duchess of Gloucester, sister-in-law of George III, it was changed to Gloucester Road. Farmers used to go through this road to take the pigs to market.

The following shop windows reflect my life:

No. 34 THE GLOUCESTER ARMS Has been my local for 30 years. George Canning, whose home was here, was Prim Minister for the shortest time.

The local community extends. I meet a couple of friends in the pub and I also see them, from time to time, in Mayfair, where they work. This also applies to a retired architect, who used to work in Mayfair and lives in Kensington. One side of the Gloucester Arms is on Victoria Grove.

VICTORIA GROVE Andre Lloyd Webber’s brilliant musical was inspired by T.S.Eliot’s Old Possum’s Book of Practical Cats. In it, Victoria Grove is mentioned as where the cats Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer lived. These cats were also known in Cornwall Gardens, Launceston Place and Kensington Square. T.S.Eliot lived and died in nearby Kensington Court Place. Back to Gloucester Road towards Kensington Gardens:

No. 16 ROSS FOOD & WINE Open 24 hrs a day. Madonna once lived in the area and the owner’s wife once asked her, “Are you from around here?” Madonna burst out laughing. Across the road, on the corner of Queen’s Gate Terrace:

No. 15 DA MARIO PIZZERIA Princess Diana used to take Princes William and Harry here. Inscribed on the steps: DA MARIO, PRINCESS DIANA, LOCAL PIZZERIA. On the other side towards Gloucester Road station:

No. 20 JAKOBS Deli where fresh vegetarian and organic salads and other food is sold.

No. 48A THE EMPEROR STORE Convenience store, that makes what you want to get, easier for you.

No. 48 MARGARET MILLS When I asked the shop keeper what was unique about his shop he hesitated for a while, when a customer intercepted, “When we’ve looked all over the place we come here. They usually find it for us downstairs.” “What better recommendation than from a customer”, concluded the shop keeper.

No. 54 THE SANDWICH SHOP Customers include students, workmen, solicitors and police queuing up outside. Once there was someone trying to rob the store but the policeman in the queue stopped him by shouting, “I was here first!”

No. 58 Was KARNAC BOOKSHOP that used to sell and publish psychology books.

Being the local author they used to sell mine. The bookseller industry, as well as the publishing sector, have taken a great down turn due to the internet.

Now is BERRY’S NEWSAGENTS delivering international newspapers locally, early in the morning. The papers don’t always have good news but the staff always have a smile on their face.

No. 62 CAFE DECO French cakes are made on the premises by the patisserere.

No. 64 QUEEN’S HEALTH SHOP Sells a wide range of holistic therapies, as well as acupuncture practiced on the premises.

No. 68 JEAN MARIE HAIRDRESSING Provides all the hairdressing services for men and women including highlighting and colouring, as well as a chair that massages.

DUSTIN HOFFMAN The actor was outside one of these shops, when he used to live behind Gloucester Road. I gave him a copy of my book, ‘The Way It Is’. When I saw him a few days later and asked him for a comment on the book, he simply replied, ” Actually, I’m in the middle of reading a script.” Off Gloucester Road is Kynance

Place:

OLLINS RESTAURANT The cuisine is Franglais. One world - one word - Service.

KYNANCE PLACE The unlikely sight of about half a dozen soldiers on their horses from the Knightsbridge Barracks getting refreshment at 7am, outside a coffee shop.

It is a delight to be one of the community living around this parade of shops where every one knows each other.

+ ∞

SHOPPING

Usually you can only go into a shop once or twice in a short space of time because familiarity breeds contempt… Robert Dangoor.

A shop is a business environment, a place where deals are undertaken. So, the differences that we all have are accentuated by repetition. One usually gets the best out of something the first time and the shopkeeper makes more profit the first time. In some cases, the more the shopkeeper knows about the customers who enter his shop, the better, but there is usually a cut-off point when jealousy of wealth, differences in religion and family circumstances can cause friction and bad feelings. The shopkeeper wants to encourage the cream of his customers, to keep them rolling in on his metaphorical conveyor belt. In business, people only give out that which will benefit them.

If there are too many people in the shop, they might talk to each other and compare notes. Some customers are hard to please and some never buy anything… they just want to see what’s on offer. The shopkeeper becomes wary of these people and usually, it is the local residents who keep coming into the shop. Certain customers tend to return the goods that they buy. The shopkeeper might claim there is nothing wrong with the item – that he is not using it properly, but if the customer says it is faulty, he should be given a replacement.

Some shopkeepers are reluctant to order special items for their customers. The wholesalers are difficult; he has no account with them and has to pay in advance.

After you have been into a shop a couple of times, the shopkeeper wants to see how dependent you are on him. He gets tired of you. Even if it means losing business, he prefers fresh faces. If a customer comes in for the third time, the shopkeeper might catch him because of the behaviour of the other customers. He will start making fun of him, carrying on the same joke, ridiculing him. He tries to satisfy as many customers as he can, but he also lays down limits.

Perhaps you don’t visit a certain pub or restaurant again straight away, because you have had to wait a long time to be served with your order. Or, if you have been visiting a certain restaurant for many years, you may stop going because the staff, knowing you very well by now, make fun of you or treat you disrespectfully.

There are times when you have to queue before you can be served. You may decide you don’t want to queue again… as soon as you entered and saw the line of people waiting, you would find an excuse to leave. Some shops, such as West End sports retailers, are very busy and you would take care to avoid them when they were at their busiest if you were susceptible to anxiety attacks.

Sometimes, shopkeepers will try to sell you something that you don’t really want to buy, either because it is more expensive than anywhere else, or because it is not suitable. And then there are the shops where you always have to check that the ‘sell by’ dates have not expired.

You may also find the shopkeeper who repeatedly gives you a big discount, perhaps embarrassing you. But you have to pay for it… it’s an excuse to insult you. On the other hand, if you give the shop assistant a gift you might expect a discount, but too often you will be charged extra.

There are tricks of the trade in every business, but new customers are less likely to know this. If you stay in the shop too long, you’re holding up the queue. The shopkeeper just wants to deal with the next customer…

+ ∞

YOU WOULDN’T BE NORMAL IF YOU DON’T REACT IN AN ABNORMAL WAY

Your life is in your hands but sometimes obstacles get in your way and your hands then become tied.
If I was expecting a friend to help me out in a difficult situation, I would feel very disappointed if he let me down at the last minute and would think twice before asking someone again.
If I ask a friend to do a DIY job in my flat and I pay him and then he asks me to lend him money which he never returns, I would feel let down.
If you know someone who is also known to your family, you have to tread carefully so that you do not upset your friend, who may report back to your family.
When a group of friends get together to enjoy themselves, there is usually one who upsets the apple cart.
In a pub when a group is making a lot of noise and being a nuisance, the publican tends to pick on the one with least resistance.
One is wary of people who react to what you look like rather than what you do.
Giving advice is hazardous as it could be seen as interfering, but it is simply passing on the benefit of experience.
If you give too much appreciation to someone, he might test your support next time.
When someone crosses the road and his feet are run over by the wheels of a car, then he would be wary of crossing the road again, without taking care that it didn’t happen again.
Passengers in an aeroplane which has to force land would find it a traumatic experience and next time they would check which airline had a safer record.
If I ask directions and he sends me the wrong way, I will tend to try to read a map rather than depend on someone else.
A shopkeeper who is repeatedly given forged notes, has to check that the notes he now gets are genuine.
If I confide a secret to a shopkeeper, and he tells other people that I know, I would be less likely to tell anyone else a secret.
You usually can only go into a shop once or twice in a short space of time because familiarity breeds contempt.

One can be wary of giving too big a tip in a restaurant because the waiter might think that you are after something else.
You have to be careful of adverts, which do not always live up to their promises.
I went on a long and stressful journey by car and hyperventilated, developing such a phobia of escalators and heights that I haven’t travelled by tube for over ten years.
A soldier who has suffered post traumatic stress disorder from a war, may well have a traumatic reaction to a loud noise long after he is out of the war zone.
A person who is abused as a child might find it difficult to lead a normal adult life.
If the bus is full and you cannot get on with a wheelchair, you must wait until a bus comes along which has enough room to accommodate the wheelchair.
If you are involved in a punch-up in a queue because it is thought that you queue-jumped, you will feel vulnerable in a queue.
Instead of thanking you for trying to make someone give up a bad habit, the addicted person blames you for causing him to take up the habit.
A drinker who sometimes cannot hold his alcohol might be wary of having one drink too many.
Someone who wants to save money and get fit at the same time might think twice about riding a bicycle if he has been hit by a car.
In a penalty shoot-out, the penalty taker is fast and accurate with his shot, but the keeper saving the goal and also the match, is a genius.
Be careful if a friend turns against you when he is with another person,
If you are usually wrong about things, it is difficult to convince people when you are actually right.
If you are charged £5 for something twice, and you are charged £4 the third time, should you be grateful for the discount or complain of being overcharged on the first two occasions?
A comedian practising a joke for a long time will be disappointed if the joke falls flat on its face.
If a car is stationary at a green traffic light, do you cross the road or wait until the car has gone?
On a park bench, do you ask a well-built man not to smoke because the smoke is getting into your eyes?

Sometimes, the one who puts somebody else on a pedestal falls flat on his face.
Standing behind a difficult and awkward person in a queue, I would wonder how I would be treated as the next customer.
If an athlete sacrifices all his spare time training for the marathon he will be disappointed if he does not complete it.
When renting a flat you will be very upset if you are charged by the agent as well as the landlord.
With fruit machines you learn the hard way that it is not what you get out, but what you put in.
How do you feel after queuing up for a long time to obtain a certain item to be told when you reach the counter that the item is sold out?
Or you rush across town to catch the last train… to be told it has already gone?
And are you not very annoyed with the policeman who stops you to check your car and your driving licence when you are late and rushing to get somewhere?

+ ∞

I’M NOT MAD, DOCTOR, IT’S THE REST OF THE WORLD

A doctor prescribes some pills for me. “Take those,” he says, “and you will feel much better.”

I tell him there is nothing wrong with me; it’s the rest of the world that is mad.

So, what does ‘mad’ mean? One dictionary definition is ‘mentally deranged’ while another has it as ‘insane.’

Therefore, if so many every day incidences in the world are considered to be ‘normal,’ wouldn’t it be better for me to be ‘mad?’ When a man indecently assaults a defenceless child, in all probability that will affect the rest of that child’s life. Is that normal? And when a senior citizen is murdered by a teenage drug addict for £5… is that normal?

In the wider world, when a country goes to war – not for democracy, but for oil – is that normal, too?

There is a saying, ‘Being born is an accident; death is inevitable.’ But some people kill themselves because they cannot bear to be alive. Not only that, but more and more religious and political fanatics are strapping bombs to their bodies with the intention of detonating them in a crowded place so that they can take other lives as well as their own. What is normal about that?

On a personal level, one couple may decide to abort their baby while another couple are paying out thousands of pounds for someone else’s baby, or for fertility treatment which may or may not be successful.

On a practical basis, when someone spends £5 on a packet of cigarettes, he usually becomes even more nervous. And an habitual drinker tries to cheer himself up by drinking more alcohol, but it only serves to make him even more depressed. One in four people suffer from depression at some stage of their life.

Depression, and especially manic depression, is caused by mood swings. Every day, we all react to others like the swing of a pendulum. If you ask for something, you either get a positive answer or a negative one. You must say ‘please’ when you ask, and to get it, you have to please. Sometimes, but not always, the request is governed by money. And so is the reaction. If you ask someone for something, they will not necessarily agree, and this is a defence mechanism.

A shop assistant may deal with hundreds of people in the course of a day and she cannot react positively to all of them. Sometimes, the other person does nothing wrong, but may still provoke a negative response. But they would rather be negative than not noticed at all.

If a job needs to be done, it can depend as much on the least important as on the boss. And, if someone serves you in the shop every day, they will only respect you if you are not dependent on them… if you can walk away and come back another day.

There is a very old saying: ‘Don’t mix business with pleasure’ and how true this is, because if you become friendly with someone who is working for you, you are disclosing a weakness and they may take advantage of that. Someone who is physically or mentally stronger than another person may also react in a negative way. Someone who thinks he is strong and attacks a person who is weak, is not strong at all. He is in fact very weak. A truly strong person does not need to openly demonstrate the fact; he certainly does not need to attack the weak. The pendulum swings wildly only when the balance or the rhythm is disturbed.

These encounters are often between strangers or little-known acquaintances. It is different with a friend. If you ask advice from a friend, he will not usually tell you what you want to hear, but what you need to hear, even though he may seem disloyal. When a friend points out that you have a fault, does he do it to annoy you, or to help you to become a better person? You know the saying, ‘A friend in need is a friend indeed.’

In everyday relationships, the pendulum oscillates between love and hate, sometimes in a sarcastic way, showing jealousy of one person by another. In a survey carried out on LBC Radio, when listeners were asked whether love was entwined with hate, 62% said yes.

On a personal level, do you trust your friend, or a stranger who knows nothing about you? Better the Devil you know… but he cuts deeper. Your friend knows your weaknesses and if he is jealous of your money, or whatever, he could easily take advantage of your confidence in him. Again, to the swing of the pendulum, there is only one thing better than to put someone down and that is to bring down to the floor someone who is at the top. This especially happens in the media.

Although hate can be entwined with love, there is goodness in everyone. But you have to bring out the goodness from the bad. The entertainment industry such as sport, music, theatre and film, brings immense pleasure to the average person and so one can forget about the more serious side of life for a while, thus making the contradictions of human nature much more bearable.

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